Police Recycling Program for Razor Wire

As cleanup and recycling efforts continue in the Standing Rock/Cheyenne River camps, the police and military are also considering their own recycling programs. One source confirmed, “There is a consistent need of concrete barricades and razor wire around most of the country. It would be unethical for us to let such precious resources go to waste given the causes we claim to support”. Much of the razor wire is expected to be shipped to the Mexican border for use on top of a planned wall. When asked about some of the concrete barricades graffitied by protesters with words such as “Love”, “Peace”, “Protect Mother Earth”, and “We are One River”, the source disappointingly remarked, “those will likely be broken down and used as filler material so as not to send the wrong message along our Southern Border.

“The high lumen guard tower lights deployed around the drill site is a more niche set of items,” stated another recycling specialist, “They will likely be given to a federal prison with a high population of prisoners serving years on marijuana possession charges.”

The only materials unplanned for recycling are the excess stock of rubber bullets as future programs plan on using lethal methods alone.

-Trey’s (Satire?) News from the Longhouse